When I was young, I attended church every week with my parents. I was a member of the youth group and even attended a teenager CELL group. Some of my closest friends of those years were housed in that building.

Then I turned 18.

The number is hardly a number of consequence. That just happened to be the time my whole religion world came crashing down. A co-worker of my father’s had…well…let’s just say things did not work out in that business partnership. My parents have been forced to struggle financially ever since. Mind you, they are always doing just fine, but they are nowhere near the plush lifestyle of my early years. This was also about the time my parents were asked to leave there sunday school class because it made this dreadful person ‘feel uncomfortable’.

Next, I grew very close to someone I was in the band with. We were both in front ensemble, both very geeky, and both fairly smart (though I couldn’t hold a candle to his intelligence). Near the end of our senior year he confided in me. He was gay. That didn’t bother me at all. I had know plenty of people with whatever alternative life style you could think of, and I truly live my life doing my best to never judge someone. I had had my fair share of being called many things in my life that simply weren’t true (suck-up, teacher’s pet, brain, loser, geek, freak, never good enough) and I didn’t want anyone else to feel the way that I had felt because of my judgments. Back to the point, I was apparently the first person he confided in. And I never told anyone his secret. However, when he became more comfortable with himself, he started asking questions within his church. He was basically told that gay people were not allowed in that church.

Lastly, the end of my church-going days also coincided with the end of my high school career. The pastor I had grown to love and respect would be moving soon, and we would be getting someone new. This part isn’t as important, but it’s worth noting. What is important is that every single sermon I hear for my last two months in that church was about tithing. I sat for 20 minutes a week listening to what a terrible person I was for not giving my money to an organization that i had dedicated my heart and time to my entire life. I know they need money to stay afloat, but it was getting to overkill. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when an elderly gentleman approached me after church one Sunday, dropped his hand on my shoulder, leaned inches from my face and said, “Did you tithe this week, young lady?” I had attended that church my whole life and had never even met that man. He didn’t introduce himself, just asked me. When I told him I didn’t have a job, he replied very gruffly that I should be tithing from my savings. I couldn’t believe it!! This man knew nothing about me!! That was the last day I attended services there.

I still think of myself as a good person. I’ve never done drugs, never gotten in trouble with the law. Never even gotten a speeding ticket. And as angry as some people have made me in the past, I have always done my best to not be spiteful or vindictive because I know that it can cause huge problems down the road. However, for those who attend church, they look at me as if I’m the worst heathen they’ve ever known simply because I don’t plant myself in a pew on Sundays, listen to someone tell me the stories I could tell in my sleep, and sing a few hymns with random people.

 

Has anyone ever noticed that religious people have a lot of trouble with others telling them not to judge?

Have you ever noticed just how judgmental and critical church-goers are?

 

I should state that this is not true of ALL religious people. There are plenty that are very good people that truly don’t judge others and don’t push their religion on others. Maybe I just had a bad couple of months in my young years, but I think it is my final decision to be a decent person and treat everyone with respect. I’ll let whatever divine power there is decided if that makes me worthy of happiness after death, whatever that may mean to you all out there.