The Harm You’re Gifting

I was raised in the church. A Methodist, to be specific. I learned a lot of good life lessons there. I will not deny that. Although some of those life lessons included some that showed me that Christians can be some of the most cruel and unforgiving people out there. I’m not lumping them all together. But there will always be at least a few in every church. And one rotten potato can ruin the whole soup. 

I left the church when I was 18. 

While I’ve never run around screaming my religious affiliations (or lack thereof) to everyone around me, it’s not a secret. I haven’t set foot inside a church for anything other than a wedding or funeral in more than a decade. I never try to push my affiliations on others and I would truly appreciate the same respect. However, I’ve noticed that people who attend church have an extremely difficult time doing this. After more than ten years, I still can’t figure out why. 

I have a son now. He is the light of my life and I have high hopes for him. I plan on teaching him everything that’s important to me, not the least of which is how to be a good person and treat others with respect, even if they maybe don’t always deserve it. 

The one group of people one would think they could count on for respect would be family. Maybe in some families that’s the case. But it just isn’t so with my family. 

For Christmas this last year, my son and I  received many gifts. We were thankful for each and every one. But I can’t help but wonder at the intent behind some of them. The less offensive one came in the form of a necklace for me from my aunt. She’s part of one of those DIY business selling jewelry. I’m sure she got perks for buying all this stuff from herself, but could she really not think of anything better for her niece who’s allergic to metal?? Again, not a secret. I haven’t worn jewelry since I was a little kid, thinking the constant rashes, infections, and pain were my own fault (at least that’s what I was led to believe). 

But the worst was given to my son. It was a book. Simple enough, right? I read like crazy and want my son to love reading to. But THIS book was a Veggie Tales book. It even has a button you can push to hear a song about thanking God for the day. UGH!

Now, each and every Christian out there read that and thought, “your family just wants what’s best for you and your son”, right? Well, then have enough respect and courtesy to understand that what’s best for you and yours may not be the best for someone else. You have the right to raise your children in any environment and religion you choose. I have the exact same right. It’s part of what makes our country great. So don’t force your religion on my child. I’m the one raising him, not you. 

Still don’t understand how I feel?

What if I gave your kid a book about atheism? Buddhism? Paganism??? Complete with a song making it sound like so much fun??

You’d be offended, wouldn’t you? No need to admit it to me. But you need to admit it to yourself. I may have had the best of intentions, exposing your child to what I believe is the one and true path in life. 

That still doesn’t make it ok. 

If we really act with the best of intentions, we will avoid topics of this nature when presenting gifts to the children of others. And we would also educate ourselves on what the beliefs are of someone close to us. Because seriously, if my cousin’s daughters came to me with a question about Jesus, I would give them an answer based on what I know their parents believe. Why? Because I’m not the one raising them. If they asked me for my opinion about something religious, I would distract them from the question or give an appropriately vague answer. Why? Because it’s not my job to guide them spiritually. I’ll leave it to their parents even if I disagree with their teachings. They aren’t my kids to guide. If they asked me about a moral topic, I’d have no trouble giving an honest answer because we should all have a moral compass facing due north. 

So before you buy that religious book for your niece or a shirt with a cross for your nephew, ask yourself if you really know where they stand with religion. If you aren’t 100% certain, get a different gift.

Your good intentions are actually rude, and an underhanded way of saying you think that child’s parents are unfit. Whether or not you intend it that way, it’s what you’re saying. 

So please, get off your high cross and respect the person to whom you’re gifting. If you can’t, then just don’t get anything. It’s better than insulting them. 

Religion and Law: Can You Have It Both Ways?

The Supreme Court passes a law requiring that all gay couples be permitted to receive a marriage license if desired. Kim Davis, an extremely religious person, refuses to issue them. All hell breaks loose in the media. 

Jesus. Christ. 

Yes, it’s the law to issue these licenses. But the freedom to practice and/or follow any religion one chooses is a constitutional pillar in our society. 

I’m not religious. Frankly, I find every person making a big scene about it to be a bit of a nut. Regardless, I cannot in good conscience believe that it’s ok to send this Davis kook to jail for what she did. 

This entire ordeal is nothing but propaganda for all sides. If your job demands that you perform duties against your core beliefs, get another job or ask for accommodations for your religious needs. That has been done for god knows how long. In every you tube video we see, there’s a clerk sitting just in the background. SHE can issue licenses for all gay couples and Kim can handle all others. If that isn’t possible, then Kim needs to resign and publicize her need for a job that can accommodate her beliefs. I guarantee there are plenty of religiously based businesses she could work with for equitable pay. Likewise, if the clerk you happen to approach says they cannot assist you, citing religious affiliations, request a different clerk!!! You want to marry who love? She wants to live her life for an invisible man with ridiculous rules. Stop causing drama and live your life for yourself instead of media attention!! Be an adult, find a solution that doesn’t insult the rights of either party, and move on!!

All this being said, can we please shut up about it already?!??? Like, now?!?

America is in a back sliding free fall. Can we stop it?

I am absolutely unable to not write about what happened in our country yesterday. Social media is exploding and so is my poor psyche.

Hobby Lobby won. They do not have to pay for insurance simply because insurance companies provide contraception. As I understand it, the ruling on the case is that a privately owned company has the right to do so based on religious beliefs. Hobby Lobby claims to be a Christian company.

So….what about the fact that they get basically their entire stock from China? A country known for it’s horrible labor conditions including child labor and death. With 200 people dying at work each day, you’d think it’s a population control measure!

And what about their hiring process? I used to shop there (though i refuse to now) and frequently noticed a wide variety of employees who, while I don’t judge personality on looks, appeared to be of various beliefs systems from Christian to pagan to atheist. Jewelry is a very telling accessory.
Can Hobby Lobby also now discriminate in their hiring process on the basis of religion?? I mean, they ARE privately owned, so they’re above the law, right?

I don’t have TV, so I rarely to never see the news. I read though. A lot. Marriage equality has become a huge movement in our country. It’s no secret that I’m a huge supporter of it. This is a story big enough to be everywhere. So was the story of law makers in KS being granted the right to refuse service to “gays”, also citing religious beliefs.

I’m not religious. I was once, but found it all far too hypocritical for me. I was taught that being a good Christian meant loving your neighbor no matter what. Not once did I ever read a bible verse that commanded me to shun, belittle, and stymie in any way possible those who don’t do exactly as I do.

This might help:

Maybe I’m alone in this, but it seems to me that our country is making slow progress in some areas and reverting to full on 1950s in others.

And for anyone out there who believes this “freedom of religion” baloney, why is it you think your religion is above someone else’s? I’m serious. If you ask me, Hobby Lobby has every right to hang posters and hand out literature to their employees to make it clear that they stand firmly against contraception. But when it comes down to it, their employees also have the freedom to not listen and make their own choices in life. The company is paying for insurance coverage in general. It’s not solely for birth control.

Hell, one of my best friends went on the pill at 14. It has nothing to do with sex. She was being threatened with expulsion for her monthly absences. The school didn’t believe that a 14 year old girl could have periods so severe that she had to lay in bed with her hips elevated for 5 days and once required a transfusion. She has since had a full hysterectomy at the age of 37 at the urging of her doctors. It developed into a life threatening problem. The pill helped her when she was young. It did nothing once she had her daughter.

What blows my mind the most in this is that I see where it’s going from here. Privately owned companies will be able to discriminate on religion, sex, sexual orientation, race and anything else because apparently being privately owned places you above the law.

Now fast forward. Many, many years forward. Our country is going to be divided. Too many people are too strongly opinionated in too many things and all believe they should have control. We will end up in war and it will divide our country. Whether we end up with sections of our country following different ideals or just with new countries altogether, I don’t know. But some day in the future, I truly believe it will happen. We’re all too stubborn and judgmental for it not to happen.

While I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who are ecstatic about this decision, I, for one, will no longer be giving my patronage to Hobby Lobby, and I hope there are many more of the same sentiment.